Being a CBMG can be really trying at times. Everyone is always on your case about why you're not getting married but no one sits there and thinks ..... "maybe I should set her up with my nephew who lives in the states" or "my cousin could be a good match for her". Somehow - I don't know what it is about my personality but I'm someone people never suggest. Ok, thats not true....it's happenned a couple of times, but the shear volume of people some of my friends meet is always shocking to realize for me. Are there really that many boys out there? My friend tells me not to worry - that most of those weren't worth the 2$ at tim hortens they spent. But maybe that is my problem. I just need to meet loads of men and then suddenly be in front of one that doesn't need to ignore me the next time we see each other.
A lot of the time I feel like it's really unfair the world we live in. More and more the responsibility of relationship building is resting on the woman's shoulders. I have been told by MANY WOMEN that WE have to do all the work becuase men are lazy and they won't do it. BUT you try initiating conversation with men and it almost always backfires in your face. You end up being aggressive or needy or clinging all very negative traits. You're never seen as just showing interest.
A non-muslim friend of mine is trying to convince me to use Lavalife. A friend of his found a girlfriend within 24hrs on the site. And yes..a girlfriend, someone he's been dating for over 4 months - which is insane! I keep telling my friend that lavalife is not a place for someone like me. He's like - atleast you're meeting people who live in your vicinity (my internet boy search expands pretty much the entire world, the closest person living a 4 hr flight away). So sometimes I think, maybe I should check this out. But then I realize that finding the person you want to be with for the rest of your life shouldn't be something you take lightly. It is an important decision and life altering moment - it just shouldn't be so filled with emotional trauma.
So friends out there. I hope you have some advice for me. I'm starting to want to go to another one of those youth conferences - even though they do nothing for me!
2 comments:
again this is very late answer.. but there are Muslim marriage websites. u still get to 2 know them.
Marriage is important hence we need 2 start looking everywhere possible. I recently signed up for one, trying can't hurt.
When we look for jobs, we look everywhere. Why not put as much effort for marriage? technically we should be putting more as marriage is more important than job
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