analysis

been a couple days since I last wrote.
i've been thinking over the weekend about what it is I want and why it is that I can't seem to 'let myself' get there.
the thing is that i've only been in one real relationship my whole life. from what I can remember, it was bliss until it ended.
the way we met, the way i fell in love, the way our relationship developed, it all happenned in a blur... a very fast blur.
but that's my reference: that is how a relationship should be - i should feel attracted to him almost immediately - i should want to spend every living minute with him - i should ignore all the flaws that i see and just be happy that i found him.
is that how every relationship starts? is that something that I can count on happenning again? will the emotions be that powerful? that immediate?
sure, I have references from other people, friends, tv, movies, songs, books - they all try and convince me that different relationships develop in different ways. it's not always the same.
and yet - in my realm of experiences, it's only happenned this one way and it was great and i can't seem to let that go
i know it sounds funny - but what i'm trying to say is that i haven't really given any other relationship formulas a chance.
it's complicated to explain but sometimes i think I'm looking for that rather then looking for something that has promise or potential. or maybe i just need to become friends with the guys that i meet rather then trying to size them up in two dates?
i mean - if anything sours the mood of developing a comraderie, it's definitely the fact that you are trying to find out so much about a person in so little time.
factors that may not matter to you in love, take on such importance that they are almost impossible to overlook on a first or recond date
the relationship could be killed well before it had a chance to blossom
so how long is it suppose to take? do i pursue things the 'casual' way? sometimes i define the casual way as a western approach to 'finding a guy' whereas the eastern approach to be more 'direct' and 'short and definitive' you find out if you can a) communicate b) value things in the same way and then that should be enough
the problem is I find both ways important. in the western one, attraction is a big factor, in the eastern one, similar values and compatibility take precedence
which is right? and why can't i have both?